trust and betrayal

I heard some disturbing news today about a church my wife and I used to attend.  I won’t go into details because they aren’t all that relevant.  Just that the lead pastor is in some deep doodoo of his own making.  I would love to say that I saw it coming, and I did, but that would be gloating at a time when so many people are hurting.  When a very visible leader fails, it gives not only the person a bad name but it hurts the whole Church.  I am most concerned for the people who fell under the control of this man.

I was captivated by the free spirit that existed there and the feeling of family that surrounded us when we first began to attend.  As time went on we saw some things we didn’t like and began to ask questions.  That is when we saw some ugly undercurrents.  Questions were not tolerated.  In the end we were not so politely told that we would do better in another church.  So we did, leave and do better.

Last week a friend of mine posted a comment on his Facebook account “Question Authority!”.  Needless to say, he got some real interesting comments (he is a pastor).  I was brought up in a Church culture that suggested that questioning authority, at least the pastor’s, was sorta like questioning God.  The favorite Bible verse was “touch not God’s anointed” or some variation thereof.  I started to wonder way back then why we had brains if we were supposed to check them at the church door?  There were times when it felt as if my skin was crawling during church services.  By that I mean that I knew what was going on wasn’t right for me.  Why did I stay?  Those people were my friends and I still have affection for many of them.

I do not want these thoughts to in any way encourage you to rebel (done that) or stir up discontent (got the T shirt).  I just want people to think.  It is so easy to get sucked in to something warm and inviting and lose your ability to think clearly.  I find it easier to go along with the flow sometimes than jump out of the safe boat, even though it is heading towards a waterfall.  There is no “one size fits all” Christianity.  Hear me out before you send me a “Howler”.  We are all different.  None of us responds to the same things in the same way.  Another pastor friend used to tell us the story of the “Mudites” and the “Non-Mudites”.  These were the blind men Jesus healed.  One he used mud to heal, the other he just said “be healed”.  So each naturally thought they had the only way to be cured of blindness.  Different people, different methods, same result.

There is no one singular way to Heaven.  If there is, 99.99% are missing it.  We are all people:  we fail, we fall, we disappoint, we don’t live up to to other’s expectations.  When we begin to think that our leaders are more holy than the average Joe/Josephine or have a direct pipeline to the the Almighty, that is the time to “Question Everything”.  Jesus told the people in the crowds to count the cost of following Him.  That cost was not blind acceptance but a choice, an open-eyed choice to follow a difficult path.  Every day presents a myriad of choices.  We give more thought to the coffee we buy than to the teaching on Sabbath.  We don’t really believe all the outrageous claims by the loud guys on infomercials, yet we put aside critical thinking and accept at face value most anything that comes from a pulpit.  I used to say that my father-in-law would have made a good preacher because he was a great salesman.  I think that a lot of preachers would make good salespeople because they are trying to “close the deal” and get you to “buy” their latest “product”.

My journey of faith or lack thereof is one of hurt and disappointment and wrong turns and ‘how did I get here again?’ moments.  I will admit that I am a wounded, broken soul. I got this way because I would not give up my brain.  If thinking for myself is a sin, I’m guilty.  The “because I said so” answer only works for a worn out and frustrated parent, not a church leader.  I’m kinda bitter because so many good works have become personality cults.  They are following a man or a woman and not the Creator.  Next time a church leader tells you to fall in line and obey the party line, think really hard if that is the place you belong.  And get your brain on the way out, you’ll need it in the real world.