My mind is a morass of convoluted thoughts.  This morning, while in the fog of waking up way too early, I started to think about all the crazy conspiracy theories I have heard.  I think there is an Island off the coast of Florida somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle, where “they” keep people who have become problems to the government.  Some of the people there are kept by the government, like witness protection, except on a Tropical Island.  Gilligan’s Island was based on this island, they just moved it to Hawaii to protect it’s true location.

I believe that Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, JFK, JFK Jr., Jackie O, all the 27 year old musicians who mysteriously died and Ronald Reagan are all there.  I think when JFK was shot, he was just wounded real bad and the CIA and FBI and Secret Service didn’t want the world to know that he was alive, so LBJ and the Skull and Bones group and George Bush and that committee Rush Limbaugh is always talking about decided to put him on the Island with FDR.  Jackie O made a deal with all of them and Onassis to keep quiet until she could politely join them.  Her marriage to Ari O was just to get back at JFK for the whole Marilyn thing.

Elvis was becoming a National Security Threat.  The lyrics to his songs were giving away too many Secrets so the Colonel (Tom Parker, not Sanders) and Hoover told him he had to either go the the Island or … well become a Vegas lounge singer and only sing love ballads to swooning octogenarian’s.  Marilyn had to go to the Island because, well …. reasons.  You know why, don’t you?  I know all this is true cause most of it has been in the main stream press, well, the “Hot Sheets” at least.  You have seen Men In Black, haven’t you?

Where is this Island, you ask?  Second channel marker to the right and straight on ’til morning.

How did people wake up before coffee?  I think the reason those Israelites wandered so long in the desert is because Moses forgot to tell them to bring enough coffee to last a while.  If they had coffee, they would have been awake enough to know not to turn right at Albuquerque.  I’m kind of a coffee snob.  I don’t like most restaurant coffee.  I think most restaurants cater to the Folgers or Maxwell House crowd.  I’ve had some coffee that tasted more like wet cardboard than coffee.

If you look carefully into the history of real innovation in the West, nothing of any real import happened until AFTER Columbus or Cortez or Juan Valdez (or is the the Exxon Valdez) brought coffee back to Europe.  THEN things started hopping.  After sitting up all night drinking good German lager alternated with shots of expresso, Luther came up with his famous 95 Theses.  He was goaded into nailing them to the Church door by John Calvin and Nostradamus as a caffeine fueled prank.  John Wesley invented the Methodist Church in a similar fashion.  Galileo invented the round solar system while drinking some good strong Costa Rican brew.  Newton invented gravity after sipping a hot mug of Jamaican Blue Mountain one morning while sitting under an apple tree.  I think it was the same apple tree where Eve met the serpent.  Einstein really invented the theory of Relativity while drinking coffee at his Mother-in-law’s place on Christmas Eve.  Coffee, is there anything it can’t do!?

I’m still settling in with my Apple products.  I have had my iPhone for a couple of years so some of the learning curve was lessened for me somewhat when switching over from Android and Windows.  I have discovered that, for me, the iPad is a great surfing/playing/reading/cooking device.  I don’t use it to cook with, I just keep recipes on it or look up stuff while I’m cooking.  My MacBook has been a great change.  I am finding it difficult to switch back to a Windows PC when the need arises.  Macs and Windows PCs (using the term generically) scroll opposite.   The touchpad on my Windows PC isn’t like the touchpad on my Mac.  I hate the touchpad on almost every Windows PC I have used.  The Mac’s touchpad is much better, IMHO.  My MacBook Air is the one with the Solid State Drive in it.  It boots from dead to working in about 15 seconds.  It takes longer to enter my password than the rest of the boot process (okay, maybe not, but it is really fast).

I have added a “Contact Me” page and an FAQ page to the blog.  They are links under the banner at the top of the page on the web site.  Thanks to you all for reading.

DISCLAIMER:  As far as I know, all the claims I’ve made for coffee are just products of my own caffeine fueled imagination.  The things I wrote about the Island, who knows?  See y’all later in the week.